Cause We Know the Time is so Much of What's Lost

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

These walls are too hard to climb and that latter is too hard to find I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE

Can't put my mind at ease with the words I say
Trying to get myself to get out of my way

Sorry I can't seem to stay
But this bird was meant to fly away

Break my dreams, that's what they'll do
Well I'm going to run away and learn to fly like you

Baby, is it pulling on you heart
Is it tearing you apart

Another day gone
A day closer to fate

Soon we'll find it's a little bit too late
Just go through life
Living on luck
Betting ten thousand to ten

When the day's come,
You'll say 'Why did I wait?'
You can't just leave your life up to fate.
You've got to turn it around
before it's too late.

And I'm caught between.
Myself and me.
And I,
Can't find the bridge
From my mind to reality.
I'm trying to find.
A place in the sun.
But I'm drowning in the rain
That's falling every place I run

In a way I'm giving up some of myself
In a way isn't that what it's about

I know there are walls we have to climb
I sit here waiting and yearning
Cause I know we can get by

I'm tired of running from my feelings
Are you listening
All I know is what I'm missing

beauty queen that you are
I'll put you down for a place in the stars
I'll take your picture for all the world to see

I'm dying inside
I know the way it should be

it's too late to get out
Or shed a tear for doubt

Reservation
is sneaking up on me
Was I mistaken
To let you get to me?
I've overtaken
In ways I've never known
So please don't break me
We've still got a ways to go

Cause I'm just a shadow of what I could have been
If the sun will rise tomorrow
Maybe I can begin again

Why are you waiting for what is left to know?
There's no reason we should standing still
Pick the destination and I'll pick the road

I see it taking you hold
You must let go before it starts
This confrontation you keep feeling is your heart
It's simple, but somehow letting go's the hardest part

Loving you
Like I never have before.
And needing you.
Just to open up the door.
If begging you.
Might somehow turn the tides.
Then tell me to

Struggle is the price you pay
You get just enough just to give it away

She's the picture
Of a heart of gold.
On the edge of depression unknown.

Sittin' on the corner of nowhere road.
Just between 'i wish I could',
And 'i don't know'.

There's a fine line
You walk everyday
'Cause somebody told you to
A white lie
You can't erase
Now you're gonna have to choose

I am, taking a chance
Walking with my laces loose
Wrapped up, taking the maze
That everybody's running through
I'm sick of, black tie
Nickel and dime

And every moment, extends endlessly
If feels as though time isn't moving
And every second, hold breath not to breathe

On the tightrope everything's bare
All that there is from here to there
On the tightrope the goal is quite clear
Don't lose yourself in your
Fear

"Give it all I've got" can be bittersweet

I heard them say that dreams should stay in your head
Well I feel ashamed of the things that I've said
Put on these chains and you can live a free life
Well I'd rather bleed just to know why I die

'Cause when the minutes seem like hours and the hours seem like days
Then a week goes by you know it takes my breath away
All the minutes in the world could never take your place
There's one-thousand-four-hundred-forty hours in my day

Have you ever stood outside a picket fence
You can see through
But you can't get to the inside

If only you could feel what I dream
Maybe you could hear what I mean
There is nothing gone
But there's something missing
Can't you see that I'm stuck here underneath
And you're making it hard to breathe

Cause you've never really known
'Til you're all on your own
And the words come out all wrong
Oh you've never really known

I've carried it all too long
The fear of the pain it brings
Feeling the panic building up
I'd rather the broken heart
Than live in the emptiness
Of what if the world won't save me?
Even if the bow should break
Even if the blood runs cold
Nothing could be worse than numb

Let’s go out on the town
Give it a piece of your mind
You’ve been going round and round in your head
So don’t think twice
You’ll end up worse than you’ve been
You know I can’t ignore
So I don’t know what you’re waiting for
But you’re trying hard not to show it

Cause I know that you’ve been thinkin’ bout it
Well I know they think you’re out of your mind
All of this time
I know that you’ve been waiting for this

If you don’t mind me sayin’,
there’s no sense in waiting so
Shout it out,

She wakes and takes her place in line
And never bothers to ask why the mirror sheds no light at all
The days turn into lesser days until there's only night
The light it wouldn't help she's too far gone
Her time is up it's five o'clock
It never stops

The years go by, they're adding up
She clicks her heels but she's still stuck
She's giving in but won't give up she'll never stop

Time is a price we can't afford
An empty glass and an open door
You get what you paid for in sweat
And a voice that says please don't forget

Caught in a maze you can't escape
The flickering lights, and the colored lens
The walls that we build just close in
Until we decide to begin


Hey... IM GOING CRAZY! I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF WISCONSIN!

No Time or Mind to Chase After Fault

SO, I have found it harder than usual to adjust to the "same old, same old" routine this semester. My heart is not in my school work, not at all. I'm learning about interesting things, but I just can't focus on it. I really hope to get my feet on the ground eventually, to get some money saved up, to get some more acting credits, etc.

I'm going crazy about it. I have been applying to countless jobs with little to no response. I think that, while the number of views on my Inside audition was a big moral booster, it also upped all of my anticipation. I could see a glimmer of the shining dream that I have, but it was just out of reach. I'm restless, which is in some ways good, it keeps me focused on my career, but it also distracts me from the real world, which is constantly knocking at my door. I have midterms around the bend, no money in my wallet, etc.

I can only hope that I at LEAST get the role that I auditioned for last weekend, but I don't think that even that will suffice. I want more, and that is stupid of me.

Everyday when I wake up, I look into the mirror and ask myself, “If I was going to die tomorrow, would I still want to do what I’m going to do today?”, and if the answer is no too many days in a row, I know I need to change something

-Steve Jobs RIP