SO, I have found it harder than usual to adjust to the "same old, same old" routine this semester. My heart is not in my school work, not at all. I'm learning about interesting things, but I just can't focus on it. I really hope to get my feet on the ground eventually, to get some money saved up, to get some more acting credits, etc.
I'm going crazy about it. I have been applying to countless jobs with little to no response. I think that, while the number of views on my Inside audition was a big moral booster, it also upped all of my anticipation. I could see a glimmer of the shining dream that I have, but it was just out of reach. I'm restless, which is in some ways good, it keeps me focused on my career, but it also distracts me from the real world, which is constantly knocking at my door. I have midterms around the bend, no money in my wallet, etc.
I can only hope that I at LEAST get the role that I auditioned for last weekend, but I don't think that even that will suffice. I want more, and that is stupid of me.
Everyday when I wake up, I look into the mirror and ask myself, “If I was going to die tomorrow, would I still want to do what I’m going to do today?”, and if the answer is no too many days in a row, I know I need to change something
-Steve Jobs RIP
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