Wasted

Hey,

I had such an unbelievable time filming Unborn. I was so nervous about my scene on Monday because it was so emotional but it went well.

I did not get tears from myself but I am pretty sure I saw one of the crew members sniffling :)
I was so lucky with the cast and crew. One of the crew members told us that our performances were amazing and the best of the shoot. Wow. I think a lot of that reaction is for Joe, the guy who played Tim because he was incredible!

That was a moment I really needed, it was so encouraging and it got me so hyped up. Another incredible thing that happened was that Joe said he would take my headshot into his commercial agent because I had a "good commercial look" ... but he isn't because I am moving in a week... one week.

So I drove home from the shoot at 4am feeling really hyped up and excited about acting and the great experience I had gotten. However, then I came to realization that I am leaving, and its like I am realizing it all over again, realizing what I have to give up. Sure there are jobs in Wisconsin/Illinois but it isn't where my heart is. I felt so close and then it was taken away.

Its hard to feel myself taking a step back, but I know I will push forward because its what I need to do. I will finally get in shape and save up all my money, no more of my stupid spending habits :) I will go to school pretty much year round and do anything I can to advance my career in Wisconsin and then once I am a more developed performer I will go on my way. That was a run on sentence I am sure but thats the way my mind is working right now

I sent out some resumes to the Twilight producers haha, I would definitely fly back out in a heartbeat if given an opportunity. I also wrote some pretend sides that I will maybe record and send in in a month or so if I can't get a demo reel together.

-----------

I just watched a video of Taylor Swift from dateline and I am so in love with that girl! I totally understand who she is, she is the blond and musical version of me, and that inspires me a lot, she had the same kind of passion and drive and it got her where she is. Plus she sang part of a HANSON song in it which is amazing! My sisters and I always saw her commenting about them but we weren't sure if she actually knew their new music. She does! :) She should be my best friend.

I am so jealous of her but in a good way.

-----------

This is one of the moments in life that every second I don't spend working toward my goal is wasted.

Ironically the past three days have been slept laying around when not filming, but I didn't get back from filming until 6am on Tuesday and then I had to go to class so that is my excuse.

I just can't believe I'm leaving in a week. I don't know how I am going to get my stuff to Wisconsin!

----------

My old high school is putting on a winter musical and I am thinking of volunteering to help direct or do anything behind the scenes. At the same time though I am no so sure about going back to working on my high school shows because I feel like its not where I belong anymore.

Beware of undertaking too much at the start. Be content with quite a little. Allow for accidents. Allow for human nature, especially your own.

-Arnold Bennett